Rainy Monday

Mondays seem to be the worst day of the week.
End of the weekend.
Beginning of the week.
Work.
Homework.
Tests.
Exams.
School.

You know what, though? I like Mondays. They are itch with potential. Anything can happen this week, be it good or bad.

This particular Monday it rained. As I sat sipping a Chai Tea Latte waiting for a friend to join me for lunch, I watched hunched shoulders after hunched shoulders trudging through the rain.
Not one seemed to be having a good Monday.
If any one of them had stopped, paused, and realized how refreshing the rain was, how it whisked away the humidity, and how it brought a clean start to week, they just might have smiled.

Nothing particularly extraordinary or wonderful happened today.
But it was a day. A delightful day in which I relished in moments of smiles and laughter.

It was a Rainy Monday.

Brokenness

Today, like other days, I feel broken.

I feel weak against all the forces of the world bearing down upon me. 

True, I am a college student. What do I have to worry about? I'm living the good life! 

I am. I am truly, truly blessed.

Moments of weakness and loneliness can bring me to my knees. 

Only in times of true broken do I realize what I have.

I have the most amazing best friend in the world. 

Picking a title

I have written a couple paragraphs now. You can't see them because I have deleted them again and again. It's because with every decision that I must make comes dreadful indecision. 

I have a hard time making decisions. It's always been that way.When it came time for me to choose a college, you can imagine how I struggled. I'm still wrestling with which major to choose. As pathetic as it sounds, indecision has brought me to tears. It's frustrating. 

My saving grace is running. 5:30 am. 

I'm the crazy person only few driving past see in the early hours of a summer morning when regular teenagers are either sleeping in or grabbing precious minutes of sleep before they are jolted awake for work.

8:00 am. Monday through Friday. Like every other college kid I had work.

At first I thought there was no way I could get up early to run. All through July I was right. 

Then, one morning in August I stumbled out of bed, blindly reaching for my running shoes. 

When I made it outside I could barely see.The sun had not even woken up yet. I grumbled and started off towards Centennial Park. 

As the sun woke up along my run, I began to wake up too. I awoke to what I had been missing for the past month: the beauty of God's creation, the chill of the morning air, the power in my legs, the smoothness of the pavement, the good mornings of the birds, the wary eyes of the little chubby bunnies, the rain. 

Rain isn't the most popular weather forecast or people's favorite thing. It's cold, wet, annoying, dreary, and inconvenient. Running has made me realize just how much I love the rain. When the forecast says rain, I can't help but smile. If I can't run, then I dance or twirl in the rain! 

I'm not an English major or one who's particularly gifted with using metaphors, but I like to try to think of my life as running in the rain. Just like everyone else, I have pain, struggles, battles, and I get beaten down. I don't want to spend my life just looking at that though. I want to go out, experience it, and enjoy it! I want to notice my life!! I want to soak in everything and not miss a single second!!!

But, the only way I can truly do that is to let go.

Let go of my petty worries.

Let go of my insecurities.

Let go of my doubts.

Let go of my indecision.

Let go.

Let God.

And run in the rain.